In this quiet and rather dreary time of the year, we 3Growbags have decided to face our failings. We are coming clean about how we struggle to keep indoor plants growing. Well, two of us are, our middle sister is just plain smug……..
Can’t lie – houseplants have never really done it for me. Yes, yes I know I’m out of step with at least 80% of the horticultural community, but there it is. A room full of healthy and thriving exotics can look amazing, but I always secretly feel that they would rather be outside somewhere…. Of course, for the millions who have no outdoor space, the pleasure of nurturing houseplants is incalculable. In fact, my attitude is almost certainly based on my near-total incompetence with them.
I do have a couple of genuine houseplants – a Stephanotis floribunda and Haemanthus albiflos – both generous gifts, and I’ll do my best not to murder them. Google says they are both easy. We’ll see. I also have a rather magnificent old umbrella plant, Schefflera arboricola, in an open porch, which yields smashing (and simple – they root in water) cuttings for friends when it threatens to stop us getting in the front door.
There have been a couple of accidental successes with plants grown indoors, though.
I loved the heat that my red pelargoniums generated on our terrace last summer (from a posti-tray of titchy plugs) but they are not hardy so they are spending the winter indoors. And they have kept flowering happily all winter in a cool bright spot – who knew! I’m keeping the compost almost bone dry and deadheading doggedly. I know someone who has a large wall of her conservatory completely covered with one fabulous pelargonium.
Another discovery – those pretty little festive florists’ cyclamen will flower until Easter if you treat them right. I’ve put them somewhere COOL (nowhere near any radiators) in indirect sunlight, only watered them (from the base) when the top of the compost felt dry, and given them the occasional little shush of fertiliser. When I mentioned them to Laura, she immediately said that her cyclamen always rot – sooo excited that this is one plant that I can grow better than Laura can!
Elaine’s idea of a house plant seems to be one that has accidentally survived in her house 🙄, but it’s true that this is one area of horticulture that Gen Z seem much more adept at than us.
But unlike my two sisters I am at least prepared to carry out some applied research and have been trialling various indoor plants. I have thus come up with a few that have looked happy for a good couple years of years (sorry Elaine, getting a Christmas cyclamen to survive until Easter by subjecting it to cryogenics does not qualify as a long term strategy).
Firstly the two most obvious ones: Christmas cactus, Schlumbergera, is pretty much bombproof, and now comes in a range of more tasteful colours rather than the ubiquitous knicker-pink of old. I was lucky enough to be gifted a pot of rooted cuttings of some soft apricot- flowered versions – our featured picture at the top of the blog this week.
And Phalaenopsis, or moth orchid, are sold in their millions for a reason – they’re reliable repeat flowerers on north-facing windowsills in centrally- heated homes. They’re sold strapped upright for ease of packing and transport but I think they look better when allowed to sprawl more naturally.
African violets – Streptocarpus sect. Saintpaulia – are a little more challenging as they like slightly cooler conditions and are averse to any sort of draughts, but I have had a bowl of the miniature varieties in my bathroom flowering on and off for several years now.
Hoyas have also been happy in the bathroom humidity, but I have to admit that they could be mistaken for being artificial as they haven’t even grown new leaves for 18 months let alone shown any sign of flowering…
The plucky little Pilea pepeomoides seems to be a pretty good sport even on the brightest of kitchen windowsills with stylish, slightly succulent rounded leaves which protect it in times of water shortage.
And I think even Elaine could keep a blue star fern (Phlebodium aureum ‘Blue Star’) alive – its tough old tubers mean that it just withdraws from active growth when the going gets tough, and then springs back into life when someone remembers to water it.
There are also several half hardy
A final note is to recommend lifting a few clumps of snowdrops at this time of year to act as short-term table decorations and I have made a little video of how I do it (link at the end)
Don’t be fooled by Laura’s upbeat tone here. If you look carefully, she’s picked things that are largely inert in any case. Because the truth is that like housework, our family just doesn’t have the right genes for indoor plants.
Believe me, even her bog-standard orchids will soon be lying prone in their pots begging the question: How come they look so healthy under the careless stewardship of B&Q only to begin their descent to certain death on arriving at our homes?
I’ve experimented with ferny things, creeping things, watering them from the base, misting them, feeding them, neglecting them, sunny spots, shady spots, my bathroom and every single windowsill, only to eventually consign them to their forever home in the compost bin.
To illustrate my point here is my latest acquisition – an Areca Dypsis palm tree – beside one owned by my horticulturally incompetent daughter. It’s just not fair!
However, if you too are the living representation of the kiss of death for house plants, I have a crumb of comfort for you. Get a yucca. Its needs and preferences are virtually non-existent to the extent (and this is particularly good news for the3Growbags) it doesn’t even seem to need dusting!
We’d love to hear your houseplant stories – not obviously if you’re a genius with them, that would be far too depressing. We’d rather read about plucky warriors who have withstood all the obstacles placed in their way during their quest for survival…….
Louise’s choice of houseplant is a beautifully marked, prostrate orchid, and due to a happy accident she may soon have a few more of them! Read more to find out what happened and what other qualities make this her Great Plant this Month.
In this short video Laura demonstrates how you can lift and pot up snowdrops now, to create charming table decorations or sustainable gifts.
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9 replies on “Houseplants we haven’t bumped off…yet”
Our first home 40 years ago was full of houseplants but when we moved to our present house most were given away due to lack of space (we did gain decent sized gardens though so no complaints)!
I brought our huge aspidistra and 3 deep bonsai ficus with us here, very sadly the aspidistra decided it didn’t like its new home and quickly gave up on life bout 35 years on we still have the 3 ficus. We also accommodate a huge aloe vera that produces offspring at an amazing rate.
I did have an orchid that managed to flower every few months for 12 years, now the ‘exotic’ tag belongs to 2 over-wintering tomato plants that have been flowering and fruiting nonstop despite the cold outside. There’s also a garriguette strawberry plant that gave us fruit on Christmas Day.
Perfect timing with this blog. Firstly stopped me feeling so bad about my deranged orchid collection that I neglect badly but they still flower, albeit at crazy angles; secondly I’ve been searching for a plant for my daughter that will cope in rather cold, shady conditions I think the Umbrella plant and cyclamen might work. Thank you ladies.
Hi Lynda, Glad to be of service! We were doubtful of being able to impart much helpful advice at all about indoor plants, given the general incompetence with them of at least two of us. The Umbrella plant in particular is super-tolerant of my benign neglect, though it’s appreciated the re-potting I’ve awarded it a couple of times in twenty years (😳). I hope it does well for your daughter. Your orchid collection sounds tremendous! – they are such extraordinarily detailed flowers, aren’t they. thank you for writing in, All the best, Elaine
Hi Diana, despite the demise of your huge aspidistra, it sounds like you are a LOT more competent at houseplants than at least of two of the Growbags. Keeping three ficus going for 35 years demands respect! Your orchid track record is impressive too, but I think you might be stretching a point in calling over-wintering tomato plants as ‘exotic’ despite their fruitfulness🤣. Homegrown strawberries on Christmas Day – wow! I’ve have just looked it up and see that it’s a very old early-fruiting French variety. They sound lovely, but I refuse to spend time growing strawberries on the grounds that I am very allergic to them – grrrr. All the best, Elaine
Love the idea of potting up some snowdrops.
Over 40 years ago in my N.Hill studio flat, a table full of indoor plants became my pride & joy! Here in our cottage, have only been successful with three indoor plants; a large 30year oldish maiden hair fern in a windowsill corner of our bedroom – never fed, it gets the remains from a mug of water most mornings; an asparagus fern on a North facing windowsill and three twentyish year old African violets – also on windowsills which never seem to stop flowering. I find the small cyclamen purchased in Nov, last until end Jan on the kitchen windowsill – the leaves are beautiful when the flowers are gone.
Hi Susie, Yes, Laura has got a good idea there, hasn’t she. As she points out in the video, it would be important to put them out in the garden again quickly after their stint as a table decorations, because they are so hardy, they would hate being anywhere but out in the cold winter garden for very long. Your maidenhair fern, asparagus fern and African violets sound like they have similar lives to most of our indoor plants – stalwartly surviving in a very tolerant way……. You make a great point about cyclamen leaves – their marbled foliage though ephemeral is as attractive as many an exotic pot plant. Thank you for writing in, all the best, Elaine
Chucked most of my houseplants after an invasion of the dread fungus gnats (or sciarid flies) – tried everything suggested on the internet to get rid of them but nothing worked. Some years back had a beautiful Christmas Cactus for several years that was huge and flowered profusely. Sadly it had an invasion of vast quantities of mealybug and didn’t make it 🙁
Hi Lisa, how disappointing to lose your houseplants to those wretched little insects! I know we are supposed to treasure every living thing, but it’s very hard to do so when you see them wrecking beloved plants, isn’t it. It sounds like you definitely ought to have another go at Christmas cactus; it was obviously going great guns until the mealybugs won, so you were clearly doing lots of things right 👍. Thank you very much for writing in with your confessions – it makes us feel a lot better! All the best, Elaine
I’ve successfully used sciarid fly nematodes from Nemasys to ride my plants of this pest. I had such an infestation I was thinking of ditching my entire collection – some of many years.
You receive more than you need for a houseplant collection, so I watered on half, and kept half to water on a week later. No sciarids, hurrah!